Tuesday, May 8, 2012


I've been thinking about Bullsh!t alot lately  (I'm not spelling it out so I won't get censored).  There are so many different kinds, it just depends on the context. Here are the top ten types of Bullsh!t that I came up with:

1.  The stuff that comes out of a bull.

2.  DVR'ing a new movie you've been dying to see, but when you go back to watch it, it's Matt Dillon in "Tex" from 1972.

3. Philosophical ramblings - there is actually a book called "On Bullsh!t" by Harry G. Frankfurt, and I have actually given it to someone as a passive aggressive hint-gift.

4. When salespeople exclaim "You don't look 40 AT ALL!

5. A card game, often accompanied with jello shots.

6. The words that come out of your mouth when you can't think of anything else to say in conversations with people you get stuck standing with at parties because your wingman snuck away.

7. Most fashion magazine covers. 

8. I had something else written here, but I accidentally forwarded the link to my blog to the person I wrote this one about, so I had to change it.  So, this is a bullsh!t post WITHIN a Bullsh!t post.

9. People who post things like this on Pinterest with the caption, "I made this last night for the family dinner - so easy and healthy!!  And now my 6-month-old can speak French!"

10. Getting fired in a busy ladies' room.  Can't wait to tell you about that one.

Identifying sources of Bullsh!t is important, because it is always better to nip things in the bud.  Like, if you know someone who says one thing but then does another, then you can have much more efficient conversations:

Source: "Hey Alison! Did you..."
Me: "Bullsh!t."
Source: "What? I just ...." 
Me: "Bullsh!t.  Don't even play."
Source: "But ..."
Me: "I'm onto your tricky ways. Run away Bullsh!tter!"

How satisfying that would be.  Unless you discover they were trying to tell you your skirt was tucked in your underwear.  It's a tough call sometimes.  Just keep practicing.

So, until next time, keep crowin' and watch out for the caca-doodle doo!

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