Thursday, March 15, 2012

Jesus is a Biscuit

Since I missed church last week, I was pleasantly surprised to still receive a message via Latrice Royale from Ru Paul's Drag Race, Season 4.  Latrice brought the other ladies "to church" during a tense costuming moment, by singing about how Jesus is a biscuit, and you should let Him sop you up.  It was a high-steppin-leg-slappin' hootenanny, and I felt the spirit rumbling within.

Jesus is a biscuit - it's an interesting turn of phrase which I find delightful.  There are so many things I wish Jesus would sop up for me.  Here are a few examples:

1. Penis on the company website - This week, I uploaded a company video to our site via YouTube.  At the end, one of the screenshots of recommended shows to watch next was about the proper application of a condom.  Now granted, we are a teen pregnancy-prevention group, but we like to keep the penises on the down-low.  Bad news, my boss saw it first.  Good news, it wasn't the worst thing she'd seen that week, and Jesus knows that's true.

2.  Reborn babies - I have my sister to thank for this one.  She sent me an informational link about dolls that have been made to look and feel like actual babies, with veins and matted, sweaty hair.  Old women collect them and diaper them and stroll them around town.  I can't erase it from my mind, so I am hoping Jesus can.

3.  Leftover sweet potato slop in my fridge - The problem with Pinterest is that it makes you think you can do things that you truly cannot do.  For me, this is cooking.  My attempt at the Veggie Sweet Potato Burger was disastrous.  Thou shalt not substitute eggplant for avocado nor field peas for white beans.  Thou shalt not use grits instead of flour, nor skip ingredients that you don't have.  For this, I am asking Jesus to just send me the Biscuits and put my family out of their misery.

Jesus IS a biscuit, and I keep giving him lots of gravy.

Until next time, keep crowin' .....

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  1. LOL!! Private parts, creepy baby dolls, and sweet potato slop....all in a day's work for Mrs. Cluck & Strut. Keep it coming!

  2. Lol tooo funny is all I can say..... I like watching the Ru Paul Drag Race very interesting.... *And sits to the side thinking how can they do the make up so well. Better than alot of females. Looks for tutorials.*