What interested me even more is that none of the other men around us pulled the offenders aside - there were no wingmen at all. These guys were just hung out to dry.
Not so in the female world. I remember walking through church one day, and suddenly felt someone tugging at the back of my neck. With a snap of her wrist, a complete stranger yanked the store tag off my new shirt and handed it to me without missing a beat. I thanked her, and she smiled and walked on, because that's the code.
The code is applied in many ways, by all ages. Here are some proper usages:
- A daughter-in-law arrives at a family dinner for which her husband's parents have inexplicably brought home food for 50 instead of their original order for 10, and without question to the restaurant, have paid the $1,000 bill --- plus 10% tip. Following this impromptu banquet, the DIL invokes the code, raising a pajama-clad army of girlfriends to relieve her of the strain on both her moral compass and her children's newly-found repugnance for ravioli.
- A 7-year-old discovers during a routine play date that not only is her bedroom door suddenly stuck, but that her guest has a previously undisclosed bowel problem and requires immediate relief. Faced with limited resources, our steadfast hostess remembers the code and produces a shopping bag from the closet to both receive and store the emergency evacuation. And like a true Southern lady, she does not expose her friend's dirty laundry until her mother stumbles upon the remains, much, much later.
- A wife gleefully joins her husband on a wild spin in his new convertible, celebrating the fruits of their labors and a precious night of freedom. Upon dismount from her prince's metal steed, she takes a Chardonnay-induced tumble on a public sidewalk and fears she has incurred serious harm. Concerned that fancycar + bruisedwife = domesticcharges, said wife calls in the code to her housekeeper, who pauses without hesitation from cooking a flan for her niece's Quinceañera to deliver our heroine safely to the ER.
So, the next time you are faced with a problem,
whether you are up to your ears, or merely knee-high,
just take a deep breath and remember the code
it always works on the fly.
Until next time, keep crowin'!