On The Fly

There was a span of weeks where I was twice met with the discomfort of interacting with a man whose pants were completely unzipped.  I knew both times that I could not, would not, alert him to this crisis.  The only male in this situation that I would ever bail out is my husband.  Because it feels really dirty pointing it out, as if to say, "I was just looking at your crotch and am about to become a sister wife if you don't make a quick adjustment."

What interested me even more is that none of the other men around us pulled the offenders aside - there were no wingmen at all.  These guys were just hung out to dry.

*wink*

Not so in the female world.  I remember walking through church one day, and suddenly felt someone tugging at the back of my neck.  With a snap of her wrist, a complete stranger yanked the store tag off my new shirt and handed it to me without missing a beat.  I thanked her, and she smiled and walked on, because that's the code.

The code is applied in many ways, by all ages. Here are some proper usages:

• A daughter-in-law arrives at a family dinner for which her husband's parents have inexplicably brought home food for 50 instead of their original order for 10, and without question to the restaurant, have paid the $1,000 bill --- plus 10% tip. Following this impromptu banquet, the DIL invokes the code, raising a pajama-clad army of girlfriends to relieve her of the strain on both her moral compass and her children's newly-found repugnance for ravioli.

• A 7-year-old discovers during a routine play date that not only is her bedroom door suddenly stuck, but that her guest has a previously undisclosed bowel problem and requires immediate relief.  Faced with limited resources, our steadfast hostess remembers the code and produces a shopping bag from the closet to both receive and store the emergency evacuation.  And like a true Southern lady, she does not expose her friend's dirty laundry until her mother stumbles upon the remains, much, much later.

• A wife gleefully joins her husband on a wild spin in his new convertible, celebrating the fruits of their labors and a precious night of freedom.  Upon dismount from her prince's metal steed, she takes a Chardonnay-induced tumble on a public sidewalk and fears she has incurred serious harm.  Concerned that fancycar + bruisedwife = domesticcharges, said wife calls in the code to her housekeeper, who pauses without hesitation from cooking a flan for her niece's Quinceañera to deliver our heroine safely to the ER.  

While these are hall of fame examples, the code can be activated in small ways too. Sending a "thinking of you" text or sharing a human moment from your life (see above) or just making time for someone even though you have none to spare; these are all powerful uses of the code. And we need them all.

So, the next time you are faced with a problem,
whether you are up to your ears, or merely knee-high,
just take a deep breath and remember the code
it always works on the fly.

Until next time, keep crowin'!